About a week ago, I took out "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman from the library, anticipated something good because of the synopsis and the praise on the back. I never expected to be blown away like that.

I never expected to cry like that either.

God, this is embarrassing, but I kind of bawled my eyes out for about five minutes straight before picking up the book again.

Basically, the book is about this girl who went on a car trip with her family on a snowy day, and they had an accident that killed her parents and her brother. The girl, Mia, survived, but barely. She's in a coma, but her soul or spirit, I guess, wanders the world invisibly. Throughout the three days that she's in the coma, she must decide whether she has the will to continue living or just leave it all behind.

I started cry at this part near the end where her grandfather was whispering to the Mia in a coma that even though he wanted her to live more than anything he ever wanted in his life, she doesn't have to keep fighting if she can't. That was so beautifully heartbreaking, I just snapped. And when I finished the book, I couldn't help but feel completely satisfied, for once. It was funny and sad. I laughed and cried. No book has ever had that effect on me.

They're also making a movie on it. I honestly hope they don't screw it up, especially since Summit, the company that did "Twilight" took up the project.

I also read a book called "Happyface" by Stephen Emond. It was cute, kind of like "The Diary of a Wimpy Kid," except way more mature. The concept of a guy always smiling while he has to handle family problems and love issues really got to me.

It got me thinking about how the face is really just a mask that hides your feelings. You can paste a smile on your face and act completely normal, and people will think that nothing's wrong.

It's the same for the internet. What you're typing can completely contradict your feelings or what you really want to say. Nobody will ever know. I'm doing my best to say whatever I want to here. I mean, it's my journal right? Judge if you may. :]

I'm considering doing a reconstruction of this page. It's getting boring. ;O I'm not sure what kind of style to go with though. I'm going to look at some templates.